The Goslings & Warmth - Heaven of Animals

(aRCHIVE, 2009)

There are a few artists whose work sits so powerfully in my subconscious that I will, seemingly at random, think of them, my mind urging me, insistently, to check on them, see what they’ve been up to and make sure that I haven’t missed anything in the interim of days between now and the last time I thought of them, listened to them. It’s a small group—say maybe a dozen artists—who get that kind of attention from me. The Goslings are one of those. It’s been nearly four years now since their last full-length record, Occasion, and I thought to myself, Self, we should be due for another blast of Goslings sometime soon. So, I check on them through some of my standard avenues (mostly Google) and realized, appalled at myself, that The Goslings put out a collaborative record in 2009 that I, until now, never knew existed: Heaven of Animals. I’m embarrassed, I guess, that I didn’t know about the album when it came out, but even more than that I am excited that I have, immediately, a new album fingerprinted by gloriously abysmal Goslings with which to seek out. I’m hesitant of course, we are dealing with a collaboration, here—maybe there’s no trace of “The Goslings” anywhere on the record, and who’s Warmth? Still, excited. Overwhelmingly excited. Researching, I realize that I’m a bad Goslings fan: not only did Heaven of Animals get released in 2009 by aRCHIVE, half the record (the first 4 of the 8 tracks) were apparently released in 2005, in collaboration with Roxanne Jean Polise (also titled, Heaven of Animals). I feel like an idiot—but regardless, I’m happily, idiotically smiling now, because it’s new-to-me The Goslings. Seems like the thing’s sold out, I can’t find it anywhere (not that that has stopped me from looking for a downloadable version before), so I download it. The first track, “Soft Eyes Open,” is twenty-two minutes long! Has to be the longest thing they’ve done.  And it's glorious.  Like gold in my ears.  The record finds The Goslings (& Warmth--whoever you are Warmth, and I'll find out when it isn't past midnight, I'm looking you up) in perfect form.  Loud as ever and dronier than ever as well.  But still, patently, The Goslings.  It's almost as good as Grandeur of Hair.  I sure hope something new is right around the corner (though, this'll hold me over for a long, long while).

93.

The Goslings
Grandeur of Hair
(Archive Recordings, 2006)

Listening to The Goslings’ Grandeur of Hair is like eating chocolate laced with poison. It’s a pretty bad comparison, but it is the best I can come up with right now. It’s the idea of consuming something so sweet, yet utterly destructive (and no, in the context of this album, the calories just don’t cut it for "danger"). Grandeur of Hair is sludgey pop-metal that is so good that I simply cannot keep from listening to it, but so loud that I am pretty much guaranteed to be deaf by the age of fifty. In fact, I was listening to it at work one time and one of my co-workers from all the way across the office came over to tell me that they could hear it from their desk. Slow as molasses and sugary as syrup, Grandeur of Hair is a grinning ear collapse waiting to happen.

-Thistle

The Goslings - Occasion

The Goslings
Occasion
(03.2008, Not Not Fun)
Verdict = Deafening Oblivion via Headphones

It is difficult to determine whether Heaven or Hell is responsible for The Goslings most recent release on Not Not Fun, but to whomever is responsible, thank you. Occasion, the proper and eagerly anticipated follow up to The Goslings 2006 masterpiece, Grandeur of Hair, is simply devastating. I probably have said that about The Goslings before, but the Florida husband and wife duo has done it once again. I think it is pretty fair to say that with Occasion The Goslings are prepared to sink islands and flatten mountains. The album plays out like the audible equivalent to a steamroller the size of The Empire State Building rolling through the middle of Manhattan. It’s a terribly amazing thing to put to tape, but for those of you who are familiar with The Goslings druggy, lethargic doom metal/pop this is no surprise. This has always been The Goslings modus operandi since day one. It all comes down to the old adage: if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. With Occasion this couldn’t be more true; still firing down the same lines as they have in the past yet still scoring wildly with the most excruciatingly delicious, terribly awesome onslaught likely to have ever laid claim on rock and roll. Ha, just now sitting at my desk at my day job someone whose desk is about thirty feet away came over and told me they could hear my headphones…and the volume on my iPod is only 2/3rds the way up. Mmm, it is just so so good. My already insufficient writing ability is truly at a loss for words here. Unless The Goslings make ten more albums in 2008, it will be practically impossible that this won’t land on my top ten list at the end of the year.

-Mr. Thistle

The Goslings Myspace

The Goslings - Grandeur of Hair

The Goslings
Grandeur of Hair
(2006, Archive Recordings)
9.5/10

Like a static-infused elephant stampede, The Goslings’ Grandeur of Hair will unavoidably trample all the music you hold dear. There is no way to think about anything else, The Goslings sound demands attention. The songs on Grandeur of Hair have to be some of the noisiest, loudest, most crushingly enduring recordings ever put to tape. With intense reverb and overpowering static, tape was most probably the recording method of choice. I don’t think there is anything I could write that would exaggerate the true depth of how destructively loud this music is; and yes, it is music. Underneath the plodding layers of thick, thick sound are melodies, drums vocals and even beauty. The true difference between The Goslings sound attack and somewhat similar noise-a-teers like Sunn O))), Yellow Swans and Prurient is that their clatter is based in actual structured songs and that those songs bleed through, ever so slightly enough, to carry you through each blasting forest of noise. While The Goslings’ noise brethren can be arguably masochistic, Grandeur of Hair is enjoyable, even if you are gushing blood from each ear. Paced beautifully, if there is one “noise” record you own make it this one, and if you are already initiated into this field, welcome your new king.

-Mr. Thistle

The Goslings - Sanibel